The anniversary of my son’s passing comes and goes every single year. I know it is coming…there is no avoiding it. August 26th has become a day that I will dread for the rest of my life. I have learned a few of my own strategies that help me cope – not only with that day, but with the anticipation of it coming, and the days immediately following.
Taking that day off from work to allow a full day of whatever it needs to be is important for me. This also allows me to concentrate on work in the days before, knowing I will be able to allow myself that day to grieve fully.
I don’t make plans on that day allowing flexibility to do something or nothing at all, with the exception of visiting his place of rest. I vow to focus on myself, making sure my daughter and my husband are doing the same for themselves whether we do it together or not. I don’t force anything, nor do I have expectations of myself or anyone else.
Usually I will write a passage and post something on Facebook. Perhaps this helps me check in with others and let’s my friends know how I’m doing without having to actually say how I’m doing. Perhaps I do this to remind everyone that Adam existed.
On this day I’ve usually done a whole lot of thinking, crying, allowing myself to feel overwhelming sadness and guilt…then the day passes. I’ve survived it, dealt with it and life can continue.
This approach works for me. Please share what works for you either by commenting here, or by creating your own topic. Your story could help someone else. I hope some of my coping strategies help in some way.